lo que no me gusta de ti

your gaze
          black eyes clouded
          by clear blue sky
          searching unseeing
          as if the universe ended
          and were born
          within the shallow pink curve
          of my hips



your touch
         still and sweaty under your
         demanding weight
         face turned away from
         kisses thick
         and unpenetrating
         as august damp



your smell and your voice
        cigarettes, coffee
        jabón de méxico
        manerismos de chilango that cause my heart to swell,
        then contract into iciness
        as i realize that your familiarity is but
        the faintest shadow
        of the sweetest memory
        of what i seek.



you know that i don’t love you,
but you ask.
you know
that i hate those words—
empalagantes de miel y
polvo—
y sin embargo hablas
sin cesar.
me acaricias                      demasiado
conciente del daño que me hace
tu tocar.



Ay dios que tuviera
la fortaleza de guardar
my sealed lips, chilly skin



Quítame esas manos de encima



La soledad es mi cruz y lejos
de ti
la llevaré



02.28.05